Building a village in a society full of introverts

Dear Readers, Motherhood is joyous and enriching. I often say I now feel the full depth of emotions. Sometimes my chest will literally ache because I feel so much love for Evangeline. For the first time, I am feeling the upside of heartache. On the other side, it is lonely and isolating. This is especially true in early motherhood when you're at home with an infant. You may wonder how you could possibly feel this way if you're in the company of another person who needs you all day. If you've raised children, you might understand what I mean. In a very short period of time, you may be uprooted from your job and/or career, work family, friends, social circles and hobbies. Common interests that once bonded you together now cause a divide. These changes were overwhelming and a lot for me to process in the first six months. I had the added challenge of finding moms closer to my age where we had more in common in this season of our lives.

Parenthood is a good test for relationships (both platonic and romantic) and I've found that true friendships will remain. For someone like me who works part-time at home, along with caring for an infant, friends have to accept that my sidekick will almost always accompany me wherever I go. I say all the time that we're a package deal. My true friends understand this, and those relationships deepen. Side note: Fortunately, my employer also understands this and invited us both to the next staff meeting onsite. How amazing is that?! A commonly used phrase in new parent circles is having "a village" to help support you raise your child (ren). Infact, this phrase makes its way in at least one discussion every time I get together with one of my mom groups. It Takes a Village was chosen as the name of my blog because it so accurately describes what is needed to care for both the adults and young child (ren). So, everyone talks about the importance of having one, but in our society, how easy is it to build one? Not everyone has the luxury of family, or longtime friends, living close by. You may be similar to me... I am someone who generally gets their energy from being around other people and being a part of social events where we share common interests. I am comfortable making introductions, attending new events solo with Evangeline and putting myself out there with the hopes of forming new friendships. Sometimes I do prefer my alone time to write blogs, like right now, or to read, but I would generally choose to pass the time in the company of others. Digital communication also plays a big role in the new parent communities and fortunately, I am very comfortable in that space too. In a society and region (Northeast - there is some truth to the stereotype) where many people tend to keep to themselves and quickly proclaim their "introvert" status, my best advice is to allow yourself to get a little uncomfortable and try something new. I've found that in general, people are willing and eager to get to know you, ask questions and have a conversation if someone else initiates. I'm pretty good at reading body language so I've learned when I need to back off or move on from a conversation. My feelings aren't hurt. To circle back on the subject of this blog, how do I build this village? My honest answer is I allow myself to be vulnerable, authentic and receptive to new relationships and experiences.