Motherhood: What I learned about myself in the first year (#4)

Dear Readers, This series of my blog will focus on "lessons learned" as we close in on year one. With nostalgia and introspection often comes learning and growth.

Over these next few blogs, I'll share my most important learning moments. Truthful and personal, as I have always promised my readers. My intention is they will help other women, even in a small way. Maybe they're just starting this journey like I was last year. Maybe they've been through this a few times but still have shaky and vulnerable moments. Even though this journey is incredibly personal, I've found that new mothers lean on each other. They often share similar experiences and just want to know they are not alone with their feelings. Remember, the village?

If I had an honest conversation with my pregnant self, what would I say about the first year of motherhood? #4: You're not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). However, you'll choose this option and will adapt.

It's been a year since I was working full time in the financial services sector at my office downtown. I remember those last few days, wearing business casual attire, nine months pregnant and anxiously waiting for the elevator to take me to the second floor where my office was located. I likely had an upcoming meeting or task awaiting me. In a way, it feels like much longer than a year as so much has transpired since that time. I hardly recognize that this was my life, as I sit here now and reflect. But I remember in those early days, weeks and months after Evie's birth, I desperately missed the personal fulfillment that this identity gave me. After 18 years of "living to work" and never taking a pause for children, it was very hard for me to make such an abrupt change and stay at home all day, seven day a week and care for a baby. Even though we realize that we are blessed with an "easy" baby, I also realized after a few months that I needed something more. Something to fill MY cup, to give me a different kind of value.

Five months after Evie joined us, my other baby was born: I published my first blog in It Takes a Village. I now have a muse who has unlocked a new passion. I have been writing 1-2 blogs about new parenthood every week since and plan to publish an e-book in the future. Two months later, I was hired by our local humane society as a digital content creator. It's the most fun I've ever had at a job, and it is some of the most meaningful work I have ever had the opportunity to do. I do all of this while being home with Evie because it's that important to me. Digital content creator. Writer. Blogger. Author. Mom. SAHM. I've gained a few labels this year.

I have thrived, not just adapted. That should be celebrated. My hope is this blog gives inspiration to other SAH parents and professionals who are trying to find their new normal.

I have no regrets about the bumps and emotional highs and lows that I've endured along the way because all roads took me here.