People bond over shared experiences

Dear Readers, This morning I went out for coffee with my regular new mom group at a favorite local cafe. The sun was shining, and it was shaping up to be a beautiful Saturday morning. In earlier blogs I mentioned the importance of having a tribe, or community of people in which you can confide in and relate. We all became mothers last Fall and went through the prenatal, birth and postpartum experiences together. This is my tribe, and this is our shared experience. As we sat around the big wooden table with our babies in tow, we caught up on the latest happenings in each other's lives. Real life after maternity leave has set in now and there were many stories about the bumpy adjustments to daycare, new self-identity, balancing a full-time work schedule with new parenthood and managing a new dynamic with in-laws and spouses.

I've said before that we think the grass is always greener on the other side. There are times when I would enjoy dropping off Evangeline for a few hours with a sitter and go about my day exactly the way I would like it. Sometimes I fantasize about what it's like to be completely focused on your own needs and desires, even for a few hours. This was my reality all of my adult life until November and now I can barely remember. There's a little bit of jealously and it seems to go both ways.

Of course, the other side of that topic is sobering. At that wooden table I hear about the realities of childcare that my friends face when they drop off their little ones every morning before rushing off to work. Mom guilt (it's a real thing!), frustration, illness, resentment, financial stress, the list of feelings and issues goes on. We haven't doubted our decision even once for me to stay at home with Evangeline and I will tell you it's the hardest and most rewarding job I've ever had. I've never spoken to a single person that said they regretted staying at home with their kids when they were little. If there was regret, it usually fell on the other side. We're all doing the best we can given the situations we're in. Through these coffee chats with my tribe, I realize that every single one of us shares the same end goal - to raise thriving and healthy children.