The power of partnership

Dear Readers,

If ever there was a time in your life to have a steady partner, it is when you have children.

I Iaugh to myself when I hear people say they want to have children with their significant other to "bring them closer together." It's a romantic thought that doesn't ring true in real life. The first three months of new parenthood will test even the most stable of relationships. While the family dynamics may differ, the need for stable emotional (and sometimes physical) support remains the same. For the stay-at-home moms and dads, you may be a bit more irritable at the end of the workday when your partner comes home. You feel yourself slipping. Sometimes you need to walk away and "tap out" while the other person completely takes over the childcare duties so you can sit down and catch your breath. I see you. It's important to remember that their day may have felt just as long and stressful. It's a different type of stress but tiring, nonetheless. Here's where I want to give some recognition to my own partner, Evangeline's father and my husband, Nick. We promised each other that we would never engage in the deadly game of "who works harder" and go down an unhealthy rabbit hole. We are both equal contributors in our daughter's upbringing and frankly, couldn't get through each day without the other one's presence. He adds laughter, levity and more color to her life. It's true that you fall in love with your husband all over again when you see them blossom into a dad. After 18 years, I did. Starting from those first few days at the hospital after the birth, Nick did nearly all of the caregiving for Evangeline while I was bedridden and recovering from my c-section. I didn't swaddle her once or change a single diaper until we got home. I had to learn how to "mom" once I walked through my own front door. I talk a lot about my own adjustment to parenthood in this blog but want to make it clear how important my husband, my partner, has been in easing that transition.