To everything there is a season

Dear Readers,

If you've read any of my blogs, you may have noticed an ongoing theme about time. When you have a young child, you live your life by the clock. Feedings, changings, naps, bedtime, playgroups, meetups, classes, etc... I have contemplated getting my watch tattooed on my left wrist so it is a permanent fixture on my body.

If this is the first time you've read one of my blogs - welcome. I’m glad you’re here. If you've raised children of your own or are in that phase of your life right now my words may resonate. “To everything is a season” is a bible verse (Ecclesiastes) and song lyric (The Byrds) that currently has an important presence and is a guiding force in my life. A season. My days look different than I planned a year ago, and much different than I planned three or five years ago. I never thought I could stay at home full-time with an infant and put my own professional career ambitions on hold. I mean, that was my baby. I've proved to myself that I could do it for seven months (so far).

Sometimes as I hold or bounce Evangeline in one of her playgroups my mind slips away for a moment… I find myself feeling melancholy about missing my “old life.” Perhaps this is the season I am meant to experience right now. People keep telling me when they see us around town to enjoy every moment with my baby because it won’t last forever. "I remember when my daughter was that small - now she's got two of her own!" It's hard to see this when you’re in it.

I recently met up with a friend downtown. Her little boy is just a few months older than Evangeline. We shared a blanket on the grass and talked honestly about adjusting to new motherhood. We’re both experiencing the emotional challenges of putting a job and career you once loved on the backburner to focus on motherhood. She said when she first meets people, she introduces herself with her profession and expertise and says that she is staying at home with her infant son right now. Right now. Expertise, credentials and formal education are not lost just because we start a family. Does a career path often take a new turn after having kids? Yes. I think I needed to hear this from someone else, especially someone who is well-traveled, educated, career-focused and most importantly, for me, another stay-at-home mom. Because I'm so entrenched in the day-to-day lifestyle with a little one, I started to forget that we can evolve and change with our children. Thank you, friend. The right now part of her comment reinforces that we experience many seasons in our lives. Some tornadic. Some sunny with blue skies. The only constant is change. Right now, perhaps my season is at home with Evangeline before she starts school.