Who you are versus what you do
- melmatulonis
- Apr 19, 2023
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 27, 2023
Dear Readers,
This week was the first time I've introduced myself as a stay-at-home mom and also a writer. It felt odd. But at the same time, it felt good. And after 5-6 months postpartum, it was freeing and honest.
As you've gathered from my other blogs, I'm still adjusting to this new life with a child. It wasn't until I left the corporate working world and took a step back that I realized how much of our identity is tied directly to what we do for a living. I'm a this, or I'm a that. When people make introductions, typically the second or third question is "what do you do?" Marketing, media and communications are my fields of graduate-level education and expertise. But do they speak to my value as a person as my LinkedIn headline suggests? I spend most of my quiet moments writing about my life and experiences as a new mom. They are my stories but I'm hopeful that other readers connect with my words and experiences. I'm thankful that Evangeline is generally a very content baby who takes long naps. Maybe someday she will understand how grateful I am for her good temperament.
As someone who has recently gone through a major personal and professional life change, it begs the question, does what I do for work define who I am? Up until November, my career was my baby. All of my time, focus and attention went toward job performance and satisfaction. I was in aggressive pursuit of climbing the corporate ladder.
Remember, we are all replaceable at work, but we are not at home.
Fast forward to Evangeline's arrival. Now my focus and fulfillment go toward savoring motherhood and making her days (and mine) as enjoyable as possible. I feel that I am living a bit of a bohemian lifestyle, with lots of music, art and writing included. At least that's how SAHM (stay-at-home mom) life feels to me so far. I know I will never get this time back with my little girl. I write as much as I can to document this special time. Non-fiction writing has always been an interest, and fortunately, required in most of my past jobs. I keep an open mind and look forward to where this writing journey takes me.
I know one thing is for certain; writing has become a part of me now.
I think that in western society we have a tendency to almost always default to dialogue about what we do and how our job is going when asked “How are you?” As a fairly newly retired person I smile with pride and reply with an ”I am retired” when asked what I do. I have learned to give myself permission to do nothing if that is what I wish to do or not do. The person we are is not what we do for a living. If it was, every retired individual would be a nobody and most of the retired people I know are some of the best somebodies I have ever had the pleasure to know. We ha…