Stay-at-home parenting by the numbers

Dear Readers, Did you know stay-at-home (SAH) parents account for nearly 20% of all parents in 2023, according to Pew Research Center and US Census Bureau data? Also, the number of SAH dads is 7%, an increase from 4% 25 years ago. There has been a steady uptick in parents choosing to stay at home with their kids and working outside of the home since the pandemic. Back to my life.

One lesson from early parenthood is it's all a numbers game. As a new mom, I frequently look at the clock. I can't tell you how many times each day I look down at my left wrist. Every moment of my day is accounted for, as you will see below. I'm very grateful that Evangeline takes long naps in the afternoons so I can be a bit selfish and do what I want to do. Usually that involves writing and sitting out on the deck on nice days. Every so often I have a weekday when there is nothing on my calendar. Most mornings I am in a rush to get her changed and dressed, while finishing a cold coffee, to be at a class or playgroup by a certain time. I was curious how my days looked from a timing perspective, so I wrote it down and want to share.

Here's a simple time breakdown of my day with a nearly 7-month-old:

85% Evangeline (includes shared activities) · Feeding (and everything that goes into preparing and cleaning up bottles)

· Napping (getting her down) and trying to check a few things off my to-do list in the meantime

· Changing (getting her appropriately dressed and clean up, bathing)

· Enrichment and engagement activities (i.e., playgroups, classes, story times)

· Bonding and snuggles

· Errands

· New mom meetups

· Exercise (i.e., walks around town, on trails other scenic locations. Shoutout to our beautiful Rail Trails)

15% Melanie (solo activities) · Caring for Griswold and making sure he’s ready for the dog walker

· Personal hygiene (i.e., shower and get dressed) and bio breaks

· Meals (some sort of morning energy boost and something of substance in the afternoon)

· Coffee! (I treasure drinking an entire hot cup). This needs to be its own bullet.

· Blog work and publish new content

· Personal development (upskill trainings, webinars, reading educational blogs for me or baby)

· Professional development (resume enhancements, conversations regarding new opportunities)

· Rest (I'm not much of a napper, believe it or not, but I try to lay down once in a while)

· Housework

· "Me" time (social media, watch trashy TV, read, phone calls, cross-stitch, brainless enjoyment)

A 2020 survey sponsored by Welch's fruit company found the average stay-at-home mom (SAHM) works the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs when caring for their child(ren). The survey found the average SAHM works around 14 hours per day, from roughly 6:30 am to 8:30 pm. They have 1.7 hours of free time. I try to fit a lot into the 15% timeframe. Maybe this is why I sleep well at night.

I'm not discrediting those parents who work outside of the home. I remember those days... I used to leave my office after a long day plugged full of marketing meetings and would feel absolutely wiped out by the time I got home. My eyes were so fatigued from staring at a screen all day, especially being a remote employee. Now it is a different fatigue, and my time is not mine anymore. SAHM life isn't for everyone. It's exhausting and often thankless. There are days when I miss the hustle, travel and titles that came with my old life. I'm still adjusting but I am finding my rhythm.

This new chapter is filled with simple joys, new friendships, personal growth and a deep and selfless love for a blue-eyed girl. For that I am thankful.