The importance of connection

Dear Readers, "Man by nature is a social creature." Aristotle

One piece of advice I would offer a new parent, specifically a mother, is not to overlook the importance of having a village, or network of trusted friends that are also going through the same experience. These are people who listen to understand and not judge despite differing parenting methods. People who see you at your most vulnerable. People who provide empathy not just sympathy. People who are in the trenches with you and understand firsthand the level of fatigue and stress from trying to "find the balance." After all, people bond over shared experiences and parenthood certainly falls into that category. "Human connections are deeply nurtured in the field of shared story." Jean Houston

Shared story. I think back to when I was pregnant and preparing for the arrival of our baby. (I had no gender pronoun to use at that point). We checked a lot of logistical boxes like finding the right doctors, updating insurance, confirming time off from work and preparing our house and cars for the baby. One thing I didn't even consider was having a village; a support system of other moms. In a society where so many people are quick to declare themselves an "introvert" and only communicate electronically, it's not always easy to form meetup groups.

I'm naturally a social person who thrives in the company of others so building a village or trusted new mom friend group came naturally. Nine out of ten times I am up for a coffee or playdate and sometimes I am even up for organizing them myself. I did this just yesterday in our downtown park. Despite the challenge of finding a time with everyone's different summer weekend schedules, seven of us attended and it was wonderful! Not only do we get to see all the babies changing and developing their own personalities, but we also enjoy some "mom time" with comical moments that have all our heads nodding. Those conversations give me energy and are like free therapy. Make yourself open to these relationships. I know I have my days when I don't feel like making another introduction or making small talk, but we are not meant to always be alone. Motherhood is the most precious and beautiful experience, but it can be very isolating. This village plays such an important role in new motherhood that I used the name for my blog, It Takes a Village: Lessons from Early Parenthood.

I thank my lucky stars for these new friendships. Ten months postpartum I see just how special - and important - these women are in my life.